grr

I need to stop forgetting to take my medicine because it fucks with me when I'm sleeping --actually it's been fucking with me when I remember to take it too.

Last night was crazy.

I had the worst time trying to sleep. First my heart wouldn't stop palpitating. Which always scares me even though I know I don't have any kind of heart disease, at least I think I don't. Because I've always had a kind of arrhythmia, especially when I've had too much caffeine, but now it's just gotten a bit worse.

Then later, I couldn't move my arms or legs for some reason! So fucking scary. And it felt like I was slowly being pushed and everything was really, really loud including some weird noise in my head, and then I thought Dave was talking to me. And I couldn't answer him. And then when I did finally sleep I had crazy dreams and I woke up covered in sweat.

I usually have crazy dreams and the night sweat when I forget my medicine but the paralysis thing was new. I want to just stop taking this medicine anyways. I don't think the benefits outweigh the side effects. Actually there's not much of a benefit at all anymore. I still get really anxious, no anxiety attacks.. but I think I grew out of that crap since I moved here. Time to make a doctors appointment, I'm sick of this shit already.

..Just felt like complaining.