Time to pick up and move on..

I feel pretty rejected right now..

It's my fault. I guess I piss people off too much. And I'm not that good of a friend.. etc.

Is it just the people in this city or is it me? I'm never gonna have a best friend again, am I? Or any close friends for that matter. There's never gonna be anyone who thinks of me first when they need a friend.

But I know why.. and there's nothing I can do that will chagne it. I've tried, and just when I think I've become more emotionally available and I can handle it, something just happens that makes me freeze. And everything just reverts back to the start.

I start to ignore people and avoid them and I don't want to but I can't stop it. I don't know what it is..