I want to try this!

4 cl (1 1/2oz) Cointreau

2 cl (3/4oz) Apple juice

1,5 cl (1/2oz) Monin violet syrup

1,5 cl (1/2oz) Fresh lemon juice

Frost ginger around the rim of the glass

Then I can be just like Dita!!!!!!!!!!!!! hah I know.

But really, it sounds interesting. Plus it's purple.

Hmm.. tyring to find me some new drinks.. I'm sick of beer. And Kamikaze's are gross and starting to make me sick from the lime juice (ew) which is why I stopped drinking them. Now I remember. I guess some people use lemon juice instead.. but I'm bored with you right now, alcohol.

And my armpits smell right now.. hm maybe a shower..

Me and Dave went out at about 2:00 a.m. last night and he was already drunk. We got pretty unruly I guess, and we're both feelin' it today. haha

wasteful

I just spent a couple hours going through all my junk in boxes stuffed under the bed. Threw some stuff away, but kept most of it, all crap I know I'll never need/use but I can't part with. Took down a bunch of polaroids, my periodic table magnets, put some of my DVD's in a box. I guess that's as far as I can go right about now.
It's going to be a pain going through our stuff that we kind of bought together. Because I really don't want any of it. But I feel bad just dumping all of that crap on Kevin. I even want to get rid of my dresser I've had for my whole life and little dressing table thingy. All I want from this place is my books, my clothes, my DVD's, my laptop, my junk in all my shoe boxes, and maybe my nightstand. Oh and the air mattress. Annnd my fish!! That's all I need.
Wow, what a waste of money, we bought so much crap and it really wasn't necessary, I feel like I could just give everything in here to the Salvo. Such a waste. We have so much shit. I really don't want or value any of it. There's dressers, tables, chairs, a couch, bookshelves, dishes, all kinds of kitchen appliances, TVs, DVD players.. ugh. I really hope I don't have to take any of it.
I'll just leave it all in the storage shed and never come back to get it. hehe Then he has to take it. Most of it was his before I even got there! So there.

♪ The Black Dahlia Murder - Climactic Degradation

help

It's a pretty shitty feeling knowing you have nowhere to go. And lonely too.
Chris won't even let me stay with him. I don't know what I'm gonna do for two months.
Maybe I can find an apartment I can afford on my own. A shitty closet in a sketchy area probably. Awesome.

I know. I update too much.

Ok I just watched an old episode of Boy Meets World. Best quote:

"Ok, what's the capital of North Dakota?"
"Banf!"

hahahah
what?!

♪ Man-Dude vs. Dude-Brah (Where's The Party At?) - See You Next Tuesday

growing up sucks.

So we have to be out of our apartment by June 30th. If I don't find a cheap-ass place to live I'm gonna end up sharing the basement with Hodgie at my mom's house.
I need to get my school payed off quick so I can get into UAlbany and get a dorm or apartment there before they all get taken.
Tomorrow I think I will go job hunting.
And then try to find a trashy, dumpy-ass apartment that I can afford. Super.
And then throw out most of my shit so moving will be easier. I have a feeling I will be moving a lot in the next few months. It would be nice to get my belongings down to just a suitcase and a couple backpacks. That is absolutely impossible.
Haven't heard this song in forevvver.

♪ The Cure - Close To Me

hahaha

Looking through old pics. Found this:

This is the last time I had black hair.. probably 2004?

hah My hair almost looks like this now.

♪ Deerhunter - VHS Dream

:/

There is a reason why I can't be left by myself for long periods of time. Because I start to think too many thoughts that make me paranoid, or self conscious, basically just depreciated etcetcetcetcetc. and just depressing thoughts that make me wanna up my dosage.
I try not to be so negative but they just fucking creep up and before I realize it I'm totally depressed.
Then I get stuck in a shitty mood and don't get out of bed and sleep for toooo long. Which then gives me more time to think of why I'm such a social reject and why I'm alone and everyone else has someone.
And it also makes me feel bad for wasting people's time.
I need school to come back so I can keep my mind busy.
Also, I need to stop feeling bad for myself. Next time this happens I need to get out of the fucking house and talk to a homeless person or something, see how bad I really have it.
Last whiny post.. for at least another week, I swear.
I'm just trying to make everyone feel bad for me.

♪ The Red Chord - Send The Death Storm

yo

Awesome. I left my bra on the floor kind of near the litter box. Next morning: cup full of kitty litter.
No eggs = no pancakes.
hmm.. what else stupid happened to me today...
Oh, I was sitting on my feet I guess and it cut off my circulation from my calves down. My feet and legs fell asleep and I ate shit trying to stand up.
I dyed my hair. It kind of looks black and I kind of like it.
Oh and Richfred texted me today. Not sure how he got my number. I guess he didn't fall off the planet after all, he's just in Texas. haha

ksjadgh

I woke up at 3:00 p.m. Fuck.
I had barely enough time to get a shower and then go straight to work.
I didn't eat at all so I was starrrving and being an asshole to customers because of it. hah
Oh well.
I'm getting stupider and stupider. I think I already said that though.
I am in a pretty shitty mood.
Tomorrow if I don't get up early, then I just give up. It's just not gonna happen unless I have somewhere to be.
I'm gonna go to a few thrift stores tomorrow. I want to find a sweet pair of vintage sandals or a dress. And I need a belt, and sunglasses.. and a million other things.
OK pancakes tomorrow. Even if it's for dinner.
Also, search for jobs! That is important.

♪ Ed Gein - The Wool Is Pulled

update like it's so important.

I haven't been so bored in a really long time. I'm trying to make it to bed at a semi-decent time.. 2:00 a.m. is semi-decent right? I'm gonna wake up early tomorrow too. And make pancakes. And maybe put blackberries in them. I'm going to make a list of things to do so I am not tempted to get back in bed. Plus it feels good to get a lot of shit done in the morning and have the whole day still ahead of you.
For some reason my Ipod is all farshluggineh. I was searching for an artist and they were all mixed up instead of in alphabetical order and a bunch of the same artists were listed like 3 or 4 times throughout the list. And there are some artists missing. I don't know what that's all about.
I bought lip balm like two or three days ago and I lost it already. grr
Tomorrow there are 4 eye exams on the schedule. For the whole day! This is going to be the slowest day in history. I found a typo in the physician/patient reference book today. Kinda funny.
This is such an exciting weekend. pfft
Maybe I'll go wander around a few thrift stores and junk stores and such.
I want to make honey mustard grilled chicken, very soon.
uhh...

bye.

Well I'm glad everyone's having a better time than me.
Pooooooopy.

ATTN: THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT

werrrrd

I think I'm getting stupider. I need to go get a brain scan. See if there are pieces of my brain disintegrating.

Time to get me some Vans Classics. I've been dying to get them for like a year now. I haven't looked at shoes in forever and I saw them the other day. I should get them! In purple or red.

I was just messing around on Shelfari and I came across The Invention Of Everything Else by Samantha Hunt. It has Nikola Tesla in it. Who I absolutely love! I must drop everything and read this one.

Yes.

♪ The Shins - Sleeping Lessons

hai

I just thought of a food earlier that I haven't eaten since I used to stay at my Dad's house on the weekends in like high school. French bread pizza. That shit was so good. Why did I stop eating it?
I'm going to get some soon. As soon as I get paid. And then eat like 4 in a row. jkkkk
Today I went up to Chris' house for a cookout. Kevin's mom, dad, and step-mom were up because he graduated today. I made my chili bean dip that they are obsessed with and then I ate and his dad and step-mom left as soon as we were done eating and the rest of them played bocci. I didn't want to so I went in and did Chris' dishes and tried to go to sleep on the couch. Then I took Chris' hammock out and took a little nap in that in the sun. It was nice.
My cat is snoring right now. Cute!
♪ Spoon - Paper Tiger

rawrrrggg erg ugh

I don't want to go to work today.
I don't feel like seeing people or dealing with people.
Kevin's parents are all here now because he graduates tomorrow. And I promised I would go a long time ago, but I didn't realize it would be at 8 a.m.! I don't want to. I don't feel like pretending to be all happy to see people.
I just want to ditch the whole weekend and go do my own thing. And see Dave, I don't know if he even wants to hang out anymore.
I want to move out on my own right now soo bad. I went to bed at 5 a.m. last night and all I thought about was trying to figure out a way to get my own place. I couldn't sleep anyway. Maybe 45 minutes total for sleep. I don't feel tired though. I don't really care about sleeping anymore, cause if I just drink a pot of coffee I'm good to go. I don't have any reason to give my mind rest anyway. I don't want to either because when I think too much bad things pop into my head.
Ugh it's gonna be a long 4 hour shift. Just because I don't know what is going on with everything/everybody.
I hope the nice doctor is working today because I cannot deal with someone treating me like shit today. People better watch out.

The Lost Tribes of New York City from Carolyn London on Vimeo.

I forgot.

I got these anchor plugs like last week! Yay. I still wish I could have gotten the bows but these are pretty gnarrrrrrrrrrrr too..
I'm in a really gay mood for some reason. No really, gay. In a derogatory sense. And weird. I need une beer. I kind of feel like driving somewhere right now. At 2:30 a.m.

And I'm also pretty frustrated on account of I've been arguing with someone. Again. Like always. Just about every week.
I have a hard time with expressing my feelings..
And he doesn't believe I like him for some reason. Well then I don't know how else to convince him. Other than telling him. Which I did.
I say what I mean and I mean what I say.
And I wouldn't have put myself through all this drama and bullshit if I didn't think it would be worth it..
Also, even more frustrating.. he's not so sure he wants to be with me anymore. Awesome.
I don't know what I did to make that happen but.. it's probably because I'm socially/emotionally retarded.
Maybe I should stick to what I do best. Sit at home, avoid people, collect cats, smell like cat piss.

Katie I know you're sick of hearing about this, so don't read it. heh

♪ We Are Scientists - After Hours

huummm..

I just found a bunch of my old Blogger blogs and LiveJournals from high school. I was an obnoxious little asshole back then. haha
But I was pretty funny too. Where did I come up with some of that stuff??
I'm not gonna share them with you because they are pretty embarrassing as well. I think I'm going to delete them after I read them all so the world wide web can be rid of that garbage.

I want to enter the win a museum sleepover on the macaroni and cheese box. That would be fun and kind of scary! I wonder if there's an age limit. 23 year olds eat fake macaroni and cheese too!

The Grey's Anatomy season finale is on tonight. I know they're gonna make me cry. hahah

Ugh, and life is confusing.

♪ The Red Chord - Dreaming In Dog Years

The Sandlot

"Anyone who wants to be a can't-hack-it, pantywaist who wears their mama's bra, raise your hand."

A good summer movie, I shall have to watch this sometime.. soon.


And for a rainy day like today: The Goonies always seems perfect.

'cept I have to work. Boo.

♪ Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Turn Into

blahblahblahbalha

Ok I just finished cleaning the kitchen.. one thing I noticed is that I had to put my glasses on to sweep/mop the floor. I couldn't see the floor! I couldn't tell if I was sweeping up everything. Ugh. I think I'm going to stop by Empire Vision sometime and check the price on contacts, maybe get a contact exam. I'm not sure if LensCrafters gives me an employee discount on contacts.. I'm thinking no.
It's just a pain to wear glasses all the time, sometimes they just get in the way.. if that makes sense. Yeah they're supposed to get in the way of my eyes, that's how they work, but it just bothers me sometimes to have something on my face.
Should I get contacts? Do I want to put things in my eyes?
Oh, life's pivotal questions.

Also, another question..
Should I try to pull another all nighter? Because that kind of sounds fun.. until I'm actually sitting by myself at 4 a.m. bored as fuck.
And I don't know why it sounds fun. Maybe because I've wasted so much time sleeping this week.

Wow, my posts are pointless.

♪ Ratatat - Seventeen Years

blah

It's beautiful out today. And I have to clean.

♪ The Runaways - Cherry Bomb

Cont'd from:

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