movvvvvvvving

Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland

^This is going to be rad.^

I'm supposed to be packing right now.. not getting very far.

Sucks, cause a lot of my stuff will have to go to storage.

We plan on finishing packing by the end of this week so we can move furniture out this weekend.

<3

Shortest trip ever, That's how I like it.

Visited my dad for Father's Day. No money so we just chilled at Linda's house and I brought over a couple 12 packs. It was just me and my dad at first which was kind of nice because we actually got to talk instead of having Kevin and Linda's loud mouths to compete with.

My poor dog looks so haggard now and it's so sad. She went downhill reallly fast since the last time I saw her. Her eyes are sunken in so much it looks like she doesn't have a left eye and her right eye looks all gnarly. My poor puppy. She can't see at all, and can barely breathe, and can hardly bark anymore. I just feel bad for when my dad has to euthanize her. It's going to be so hard on him. He's gonna be crushed. Bad. :(

Anyway, got pretty drunk.

Went to my mum's house to chill with Katie. Peanut is looking like death as well. :(

Ate 6 pieces of pizza and drank more beer.

Watched a little of VH1's ridiculous celeb-reality shows.

Didn't even see my mom once.

Slept horribly for 4 hours then had to ride in the car for 3 hours.

Had yum-tasty hash browns for breakfast!

Now I'm going to fuckin' sleep.

Oh man..

Peanut!!! Blowing a bubble! haha

Sorry Katie, I had to steal it and repost it!!!! I love my Peanut!!!!!!!!! Poor kitty, he's always out of it. I miss him.

♪ Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Soft Shock

Uncertainty Principle

This is the part of the night
when somebody suggests that
maybe death is a bunny that plucks
you from the garden of your life.
That somebody is probably drunk
but that doesn't mean he's wrong
necessarily, as even award-winning
geniuses get snookered now and then.
When the membrane is punctured
out spurts the cytoplasm.
When the tuning fork fights
with the metronome, the concerto
grows highly pressurized.
Everything ultimately returns
to its initial phase and for all
its odd angularity, disorder is
as easy as a heartbeat, maybe easier,
clarity provided as per defibrillators,
voltage pounded through the wrack.
Sometimes uncertainty is preferable
as when the possibilities of beauty
multiply in the darkened parlor.
When the lights come up is it
paper party hats and a cake or
a harp with all the strings ripped out?
Rustle of a little black dress or
snuffle of your drunk friend whose
three-legged dog just got smacked
by a pick-up truck? Poor bastard,
imagine him alone in a windswept
parking lot, clutching a photograph
snapped the last time he and Lucky
went to the park. Bent at the edges,
banged through a hole. And aren't
we all mostly water and electricity,
currents crackling through currents?
This might explain how the heart
can feel like a box kite, the brain
like boiled tungsten and wet mice.
Some retain their luster in even
the heaviest rain. It is possible to look
into a puddle and see only the sky.
Brad Liening

wha

I picked out a new pair of frames already. I just have to stick it out at LensCrafters until September and I get a FREE pair. The pair I want would normally cost $500, total. Deffff worth it.

^Of course they happen to be the same pair in our "McDreamy" advert. haha

But the ones I want are in a different color, blackish green. And they look super nerdy on me. mesocited!

I'll probably find another pair by then.. haha but that's what I want so far.

summer '09 to-do list

+ get a new job
+ find an apartment (or somewhere to live in Schenectady or Albany!)
+ pay off school
+ take more photos
+ grow out hair hair cut
+ work more/spend less
+ new tattoo
+ buy complete Six Feet Under series
+ to be continued..

cutest

le sigh.

So my mom is telling me that I have to find a place to live and let her know by the end of the week.

Uhh, ok? And what are you gonna do about it? Take my birthday away? hahah I remember saying that in like 5th grade.

Anyway........................

I'm fucked.

Pretty positive I can't/won't be living on my own.

Not sure anyone wants me.

This month is stressing me out. Like a lot!

I'm sick of crying every day and being in a bad mood always.

Not good for a person. Not supposed to be having anxiety attacks anymore!

Now there's only two weeks left and if I have to go to Corning I will be balling the whole way there.

I don't want to leave this area, or Dave (even if he won't date me!), or have to find a new job (even though I hate it, I like most of the people I work with).

I feel like going back to Corning would be like just going backwards. I know if I move back in with my mom I would just turn into myself from high school again. It took a lot for me to get myself this far--yeah, yeah, even though it's not such a huge accomplishment and I have a ways to go.

I just paid the $270.00 I owed to Sage. So they will be sending my transcript to UAlbany, then I can start picking out my classes, and maybe get a dorm or something. Yay progress.

Maybe Doug Henning can help me:

Niicccccccccccccce

I just found this for $70!

Sexy.

Next time I have $70 to blow I'm totally getting this!!

photo survey

1. Go to www.flickr.com.

2. Type in your answer to the question in the "search" box.
3. Use only the first page.
4. Copy the html and paste for the answer.
-----------------------------------------------
1. What is your first name?

----------

2. What is your favorite food?

seriously?!? A heart shaped sandwich?! Awesome.

----------
3. What school did you go to?

----------

4. What is your favorite color?

----------

5. Who is your celebrity crush?

----------

6. Who is your favorite Disney Princess?

----------

7. What is your favorite drink?

----------

8. Dream vacation?

----------

9. Favorite dessert?

----------

10. What do you want to be when you grow up?

ummm but not in Virginia.

----------

11. What do you love most in life?

----------

12. One word to describe you?

----------

13. What do you dream about?

----------

14. What is your favorite flower?

----------

15. How old are you?

----------

16. What is your favorite subject?

----------

17. What is your favorite season?

----------

18. If you could live anywhere where would it be?

----------

19. Favorite movie?

----------

20. Favorite breakfast food?

flickr kind of sucks because there were some amaaazing pictures I could have used but it wouldn't let me save them or copy and paste because of copyright junk. Oh well.

yeappppapdspadokfgj

The other day at work we were joking around and decided I should just become the Phantom of Rotterdam Square Mall. Since I have nowhere to go. The mall has everything you need. Bedding at Macy's, LensCrafters has a shower type thing in the lab so I wouldn't be too smelly--oh, also I could just bathe in the fountain. When the mall closes I could eat at the food court, and watch movies by myself at the theater. Also, they have some plants in the mall so I wouldn't need to go outside. I could hunt birds, or get a tent from Sears and camp in the tropical foliage, I got it all figured out.

Yeah and every day now someone brings it up to try to make me laugh.. getting to be not so funny anymore cause now I only have 2 weeks to figure something out..

..

To who ever lets me live with them:

I will make chocolate chip cookies for you every week!

mmm....

I want to make these!

Brain cupcakes with jelly in the middle!!%#

discouraged

Spent most of the morning looking for apartments--that I can afford. I'm screwed by myself.
I need to find a roommate maybe.
I really, really, don't want to go home..
but no one wants to help me stay..

<3

some things I want to wear this summer..

might as well just post the whole urban outfitters site.

dlksjf

Probably going to ask my doctor to put me on something different.
Because I had like half of an anxiety attack earlier.. if that makes sense. haha
And last week. Not supposed to be happening!
I want to buy the new Yeah Yeah Yeahs CD. Today.
I had to be out of my apartment from 11-12:30 today. Which is bullshit. I'm starting to get annoyed. What if I don't feel like leaving?! I didn't have anywhere to go.
So I went to the park and sat in the dugout and finished my book finally. But it got coldd.
I went to the vet today to pick up flea medication for my kiddy. And there's always stray cats with no homes living behind the front desk, I was SO close to just taking one. Since my biddy has to leave me. I'm going to miss him so much. I know he loves me cause whatever room I go into, 5 minutes later, he shows up and lays down with me. I hope he doesn't miss me and wonder where I am. I know.. I'm gay.
This month has been soo crappy so far. And it doesn't look like it'll get better any time soon.
What am I going to do?

hehe

Earlier when I was at Wal*Mart all the cash registers were possessed! They kept making this "doingy" noise (like when they scan CD's or movies to descensor them) when no one was scanning CD's or movies. There was actually only two people at the registers. It was kinda funny. Cause it was like doing DOING Doing doingoingdoing doing.

Summer '09 to do list:

+ get a new job
+ find an apartment (or somewhere to live in Schenectady or Albany!)
+ pay off school
+ take more photos
+ grow out hair
+ work more/spend less
+ to be continued..

cool

new job

Wait, I know what will cheer me up for 3 minutes and 46 seconds.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dt0IlrQYOxM
hahahahah

blah

I was just looking in the classifieds and I found an apartment for $115 a week. I can't even afford that! And it's probably the cheapest thing I'm gonna find around here. And probably the size of a closet.
My mom just called to tell me she would give me some money to pay off a bill for school but that's it and not to expect her to help anymore. And to let her know in advance when I need help moving stuff from here to Corning. She really thinks I'm going home. And she's determined to make me go.
Um, no.
I'm NOT going to Corning.
I'm just gonna have to beg Chris to let me stay with him or something.
I don't know. I'm starting to get really discouraged.

Permanent state of bummed.

omg hahahahah

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Heads Will Roll video.. so.... funny... hah. ... haha.... in a sad way.... not comedy... tragedy....
..well, kind of comedy. Michael Jackson Wolfman is good stuff.
And the song isn't any good either..
I still LOVE you Karen O.!

cute.

hi

Sometimes it's hard to tell whether or not I have a reason to stay in Schenectady. Maybe it would be better if I just went home for the summer. I don't feel like I'm wanted here half the time anyway. People can say nice things all they want (or not) but it doesn't make up for the way they act.
Why put in any more effort? I'm tired.
..But I always try to be optimistic. Maybe I'm just being stupid.

moving is xshittyx

No internet or cable starting monday. Awesome. I don't really care so much about the cable but I can't live without you internet! I'll have to go find a place with WiFi and go there all the time. I heard McDonald's does. Weird.
I guess I'm gonna look for apartments or something tomorrow. Katie! This is your chance to come live with me! Yay! Do it.

:\

Everything's no good.

♪ Cursive - A Gentleman Caller

My fish died! (T_T)

Poor Andrew :\. When I got home and saw that he was dead I started balling.. I know..
There's no way I can flush him. So I'm gonna have to go bury him tomorrow.
Whoa, I just looked at the date on the picture of him and Elvis, which was the day we first set up his tank and it was 6/3/07. So I had him for exactly 3 years, because my dads girlfriend brought him in a little cup from a wedding the day before.

Poor fish. I had him for like 3 years. I guess that's pretty long for a fish, right? At least he didn't have to live his life in a cup. :\ I'm so sad. My poor fish.

holy crap!

Holy crap! I need/want/love you, kitty Holga.

materialism

Swimsuit shopping... hmm, I'm leaning towards the second one, or maybe the stripes. Like I'm gonna get a chance to go swimming or to the beach this summer anyway!

Sunglasses:

If I ever get some extra money, I want to put my prescription in them. I've had them on hold at work for like 2 months now.

Whoa I haven't done any online shopping shopping in forever, cause I no haev money.
But I got carried away on the shoes. Please ken i hav them all?:

that's not even half. I'd gladly take any pair on Urban Outfitters.

Why am I so obsessed with shoes?